Bittersweet....

I am back home from a very bittersweet trip. Seeing my grandma was a ton of fun and brought about many emotions. The week consisted of many pictures, eating out and just visiting. By the time we all got there, my grandma was doing very well. She was able to go out 3 times with us which was a huge milestone. She hadn't been out in the car since last August except to go to doctors appointments, so it was nice to see her out and about as much as she was. However, we could all see past how she was looking and could easily see that this trip was most likely our last. She is very brittle and in a lot pain and dependent on the morphine to get her through the day. Thus, it was tough to see her in so much pain deep inside, but putting on her best smile anyway. I enjoyed the laughter and visits with family and the tears didn't come until it was time to say goodbye. It wasn't until she said that she "felt at peace." I had asked her that morning how she slept and how she was feeling and she simply said, "I just feel so much at peace after seeing everyone......very peaceful." It was at that moment when it really struck me that she was ready to go on now and be with my pop-pop. It will just be a matter of time before she goes, but I am very grateful to have had the chance to see her before she passes.

On the way home we stopped in Rockford, IL where I was born to take some pictures, which was a ton of fun to look back at my past. We then stopped at my dad's best friends house and then continued home. Believe it or not, I drove the whole way home! I wasn't tired until last night, so I'm glad to be home and resting.

Today I am off to the doctor to check on my lungs. (I wasn't doing too well on the trip and my dad is afraid it might be pneumonia or chronic asthma. We shall see once I get to the doctor this afternoon.)